We're all told time and again that life is never easy. We wave off the suggestions of loving parents as if they have no idea as kids and teenagers and at times as adult too. As old man time takes our moments from us never to return them - there comes times in our lives that lessons are learned. Some may be pretty easy and the lesson simple; however, there are those that are indeed larger than anyone could ever dream and though you may not be able to see the end - the lesson learned that much greater.
This is where I find myself at the moment - a larger than life lesson that seems larger at times than I could ever dream. At the moment the end seems so far and out of reach, but I know that I must stay strong and keep fighting for what is right.
This is my first post of my blog and I must say that it feels a little odd to vent in this fashion. For those of you who don't know - Kendra and I have separated back on the 15th and though things appeared we could mutually agree, things have turned ugly. Everyone says that no separation, or pending divorce is easy, but wow - I thought we could prove the world wrong!
A year ago if I knew the pain I'd be in this very moment - there is no way I would have said those famous words "I do." Maybe that is mean, but I would have rather made other memories regardless if they were good or bad than to have to deal with the hurt that I feel at this moment in time. So, yes - I would have saved myself from the pain, my family from the pain and Kendra and her family from the pain of having to go through this.
Many years ago - a wise woman once took me on a little walk and gave me one of the greatest life lessons I've had so far. Her lesson was about times in our lives when we must eat more humble pie in order to do what is right. Well sadly Marie Callendar's isn't running their "Annual" pie sale they have every few months, but dag - how much humble pie must one man eat to get through a trail in his life.
I don't want to make this post all about doom and gloom, but rather - I know there is an end in sight. There is hope, there is tomorrow and honestly for the first time in my life it's through the atonement of Jesus Christ that I can say is giving me the strenght to endure. Along with Christ's love for me, I am grateful for the outpouring of support from my many family and friends. Every coin has two sides and each it's on story. I hope over the coming days and months I can vent and share my side of the story. No, this will not be a bash session, or a blame game, but rather a place for me to reflect on me and my actions and how they have either inspired me for the better, or made me realize the error of my ways.
So - heres to my first and not my last. May my blog be filled with happiness from many wonderful adventures and memories (painless and painful) and I hope you all enjoy. Until next time.
Cheers,
Ian
careers
10 years ago
3 comments:
Ian, I'm sorry to hear you are in so much pain right now, I know its not an easy path you are treading on. Thanks for being so honest, it helps others who might be in the same situation or having trouble in any relationship they might be in. I wish you the best!
Cousin,
I wish I could hug you right now and make you smile. You have a contagious laugh and beautiful smile that draws people to you. So I know you are not alone in this. Keep the faith and remember that timeless old saying we all hate but really find peace in "God never gives us more than we can handle"!! I am sure the struggles you are going through will strengthen your weaknesses and you will be a better person because you will over come this. Keep your chin up! And be brave!
I love you and miss you.
Amanda
It's a wise man who can pick himself apart during times of sorrow and then put those pieces back together again in a stronger more resilient form as he emerges out of sorrow into joy. There is always the light of hope however faint it glimmers. Hope that your will be victorious in the end and stand in glorious light knowing you endured ... men are that they might have joy and have it more abundantly .... Ian I see a victor in you!
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